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Big Story

A Gut-Wrenching Tale of Lust, Lies, and the Boundaries of Morality:

Big Story

by Becka Reznick, Max Greene,
and the little boy who sits in the corner

Part One: Adventures In Study Hall

    So Ralphie said, "Why are you calling me Ralphie? I wish I was dead."
    "Keep going..."
    "I wasn't intending it to work; why do I always have to be perfect for you guys?
    "This table is hot," Ralphie giggled.
    Augustus unzipped his backpack and pulled out a tape measure. Ralphie squealed and said "Come on, that's mean, I am feeling very delicate right now! I think we have all suddenly become stupid. And look at you!! You have purple hair!! [smiles] You look fluffy [becomes dreamy] Georgie always looked fluffy. Look at your shadow!"
    The three of us chuckled.
    Ralphie stood up and went to the corner where he proceeded to curl up in a ball and talk dirty to himself. Augustus smacked his lips together and put his head under the table. "I watched Lady and the Tramp last night."
    "Dammit!" Ralphie chortled.
    The fire alarm twinkled..."Just put a blank...and...and then....and...and then...umm."
    "I am almost as magical as Georgie." spazzed Braestrup.
    "What is that!?" It's a MOUNTAIN!!

TURN THE PAGE FOR PART TWO....

Part Two: What makes tunafish so good?

    "So how is that tunafish?"
    "What?" said Ralphie.
    "So how is that tunafish?"
    "I have no idea what you are talking about.." Ralphie exclaimed.
    "I dislike tunafish," proclaimed Augustus.
    Braestrup turned her head slightly to the left and contorted her face into a bizarre expression. "I like tunafish. It's good. Especially with lettuce and cheese and celery. I also like fluffernutter. I think I am addicted."
    "I miss fluffernutter. I haven't had it since 3rd grade." Augustus sadly announced. "It's good."
    "May I remind you that there will be no chortling on my behalf this afternoon," Braestrup chortled.

    "So what does make tunafish so good? I don't understand."
    "Shutup Ralphie."
    "Do you hate me Braestrup?"
    "Yes. Be quiet."
    "Back to the tunafish thing. BACK TO THE TUNAFISH THING."
    "Ok...so I still don't understand. First of all it smells bad, second of all it looks gross.. and geez louise, it's FISH!"
    "Come on, say something about tunafish s'mores."
    "What the hell are you talking about Ralphie?"
    "Let's talk about 'Blue,'" Ralphie suggested.
    "Do you mean blue, or 'Blue?'"
    "'Blue.'"
    "I don't like that song, why does everyone like 'Blue?'" Augustus chortled maliciously.
    "Are you Blue Da-Ba-Dee?"
    Augustus and Braestrup looked at each other and....CHORTLED???

The End....?